This
week I’m going to share things learned cumulatively from the class. To begin,
Divorce stems from a lack of hope. I’ve seen that in my brother’s divorce. He
wanted to stay with her, but she had already emotionally divorced him and there
was no turning back. Then she got remarried (to her fourth husband), shortly
after my brother’s divorce to her and became a blended family with her kids,
her new husband, and herself. We learn that blended families can get really
complicated. First, it takes a minimum of two years to adjust to a blended
family. Second, the birth parent should do all the heavy discipline. Third, the
stepparent should be equal to a fantastic aunt or uncle. Finally, both parents
should spend time behind closed doors. Lets hope there are no more divorces in
our family and that we can all work together for a consensus.
Consensus means to come to one joint conclusion together.
When making decisions with your spouse it is best to come to a consensus rather
than compromise (because with compromise, one person has to give up something).
Work together as a team. Remember to 1) express your love with one another, 2)
open with a prayer, 3) discuss consensus, 4) closer with a prayer, and 5) share
refreshments. It’s what the apostles do!
This brings me to communication. Communication is SO
IMPORTANT!! Remember that 51% of communication is body language, 14% is words,
and 35% is tone. That’s a lot of communication that doesn’t even have to do
with words. Also remember to call your friends. Nobody calls anymore. The youth
are struggling more and more with communication because of media. Also remember
that sarcasm is a form of dishonesty. Lastly, remember the 5 secrets of
effective communication: 1)Disarming technique, 2) empathy, 3)inquiry, 4) “I
feel” statements ( must be an emotion, NOT blaming the other person, and 5)
Stroking technique (ex: I like that you’re so concerned about the money because
it shows that you care).
Family stress and coping can be difficult in these days.
Communication and coming to consensus should help. Stress can actually be a
good thing. It can even strengthen your marriage if you choose to let it, but
you have to let it. Many people are avoiding stress because it can be
uncomfortable; however, stress is vital in helping us learn things we need to
learn and become what we need to become. God intended for us to have stress.
Thus we see that family stress and coping is important in
today’s world. We also see that communication and coming to a consensus is
extremely important. What will you do to save your families and marriages?
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